Returning to Work After Maternity Leave: How to Navigate the "Fifth Trimester"

Going back to work after having a baby is a huge transition, and can come with mixed emotions - relief, excitement, fear, sadness, and guilt, to name a few. Many parents feel torn between wanting to return to a career they're passionate about and the emotional weight of leaving their baby in someone else’s care. It's common to feel anxiety around feeding schedules, sleep routines, illness exposure, and the unrealistic pressure to “do it all.”

As a perinatal mental health therapist, I support clients throughout pregnancy, postpartum, and into the often-overlooked “Fifth Trimester” - the early months of returning to work after baby. In this post, we’ll explore:

• The identity shift of becoming a working mom

• How to cope with working mom guilt

• The myth of work-life balance

• Tools to manage expectations during this phase

  
  

While I often use “mom” and “maternity leave,” these insights are for all parents navigating this transition, regardless of gender identity.

The Identity Shift of Becoming a Working Mom

Motherhood can have profound changes on your sense of personal and professional identity. Many of my client share that:

• Before becoming a parent, they had more capacity to give to their work. Now, priorities have shifted.

• Their identity was closely tied to their career (“I’m a hair dresser,” “I’m a nurse,” “I'm an engineer”). That identity may now feel more complicated or less central.

• Relationships with coworkers may change, especially if you feel distracted, exhausted, or no longer able to join after-work events.

• Your mind may constantly feel "split" - preoccupied with pumping schedules, daycare updates, or having your phone on "just in case."

• On the flip side, some find that motherhood brings a deeper sense of empathy and understanding in the workplace. They have more compassion for what their coworkers or clients (especially those with kids) are going through.

  
  

This shift is not always negative; in fact, many parents report they appreciate feeling like there's more to their life than work, or that they feel more efficient. But it is real, and worth acknowledging.

Coping with Guilt When Returning to Work After Maternity Leave

One of the most common themes I hear from clients is that they feel guilty when returning to work after maternity leave. This guilt shows up in many (often contradictory) forms:

• Guilt for leaving your baby in someone else’s care

• Guilt for enjoying work and feeling relieved to have a break

• Guilt for not breastfeeding or pumping at work

• Guilt for missing bedtime or milestones

  
  

But guilt isn’t always bad. From an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) lens, guilt can be a helpful signal in that it shows us what matters to us. If you notice that you feel guilty, ask yourself, “What is this guilt telling me about what I value?”

For example:

• “I feel guilty about missing bedtime—I value quality time with my child.”

• “I feel guilty for loving my job—I value professional growth and fulfillment.”

• “I feel guilty about not pumping—I value nurturing and connecting with my baby.”

  
  

Once you’ve identified the underlying value, you can take action to honor it. This may look like:

• Adjusting your schedule to be home for bedtime a few nights a week

• Planning a monthly dinner with coworkers to maintain social connection

• Building in intentional bonding time with your baby during mornings or weekends

  
  

These small shifts can reduce guilt and create a more values-aligned routine, helping you ease back into work.

Managing Expectations and the Myth of "Work-Life Balance"

One of the greatest pressures new parents, especially mothers, face when returning to work is the belief that they should be able to “have it all”. This often includes:

• Excelling at work without missing a beat

• Being fully present and emotionally available at home

• Keeping up with friendships, household responsibilities, and self-care

• Doing it all with ease

  
  

But here's the truth: Work-life balance, as it's often portrayed, is a myth.

The idea that there’s some perfect equilibrium where all the pieces of your life exist in harmony, without anything being dropped, is not only unrealistic, it’s often harmful. It sets up impossible standards that leave many moms feeling like they’re failing, even when they’re doing more than enough.

Reframing “Balance” as Flexibility

Instead of striving for perfect balance, I encourage clients to think in terms of flexibility and fluidity. Balance doesn’t mean giving 50% to work and 50% to home every day. Some days, work will need more of your energy and attention. Other days, home life will take priority. The key is giving yourself permission to ebb and flow based on what’s needed in the moment and what you have the capacity for. This shift in mindset allows room for grace and self-compassion. It recognizes that motherhood and career are dynamic, not static.

You’re Already Doing Enough

The transition back to work after baby is rarely smooth, but that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. You are navigating two major roles, parent and professional, each with its own demands and rewards. The path is nonlinear, filled with ups and downs, and it’s okay if you’re still figuring it out. Give yourself permission to redefine what success looks like for you, ask for help, rest when you can, and offer yourself compassion.

It's common for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADS) to emerge during the transition back to work. Even if you didn't have postpartum anxiety or depression while on maternity leave, you may notice that you feel anxious, down, or not like yourself as you navigate your new normal of being a working mom. It's never too late to ask for help, whether that's from a family member, friend, support group, or therapist.

If you're in Massachusetts and looking for a therapist to support you through the transition back to work postpartum, I'm currently accepting new clients. Click here to learn more about my approach and schedule a complimentary 15-minute intro call.

Disclaimer: The content provided on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading this blog does not establish a therapeutic relationship. If you are in need of mental health support, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional.