Scrolling with Intention: Mindful Social Media Use for Pregnant and New Moms

When you're pregnant or adjusting to life with a newborn, it's natural to reach for your phone to feel connected, find answers, or simply have a distraction when you're feeding your baby in the middle of the night. Social media can sometimes feel like a lifeline - you can get advice, chat with friends, or find reassurance. However, it can also chip away at your peace of mind, and often times, what starts as a quick scroll can lead you down a rabbit hole of comparison and self-doubt. If you’ve ever closed an app feeling more anxious than when you opened it, you’re not alone. In a world that’s always online, learning to engage with social media mindfully can be quite challenging. This post offers tips for mindful social media use for new moms, helping you protect your mental and emotional well-being while navigating motherhood in the digital age.

The Double-Edged Sword of Social Media for New Moms

Many things in life are neither all good nor all bad, and social media is no exception. On the plus side, it can offer a sense of community and connection, access to parenting tips and resources, and the opportunity to share about your life with loved ones you don't get to see every day. On the down side, social media can contribute to a sense of comparison and self-doubt, show conflicting advice that leads to further confusion, and can lead to increased anxiety.

As a therapist for new moms, I often hear from my clients that they compare themselves to influencers, and even their own friends. I myself have gotten caught in this comparison trap and noticed thoughts such as, "She can make her toddler picture perfect lunches, so why can't I?"; "I wish my house was that clean," "Our kids are the same age but meeting different milestones - what am I doing wrong?" Even though we can logically recognize that social media is a highlight reel, if we're not mindful about the ways in which we engage with it, it can be easy to hold ourselves to unrealistic standards that are based solely on what we can tell about a person's life through a screen.

How Social Media Impacts a Mom's Mind

It’s not just what you see on social media that has an impact; it's how the brain processes it, especially during times of emotional vulnerability like pregnancy and postpartum. Scrolling activates the brain’s reward system by releasing dopamine, which can create a cycle that keeps you coming back for more, even if it increases anxiety. Hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and identity changes can make new and expectant moms even more sensitive to what they see online. A perfectly curated nursery, a mom "bouncing back" to her pre-baby weight weeks after birth, or conflicting parenting advice can easily trigger feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, or overwhelm. When you take a step back to notice how social media can impact your mood and mindset, you're better able to make intentional choices about how you engage with it.

What Mindful Social Media Use For New Moms Looks Like

I'm not here to tell you to delete Instagram or Tik Tok (although you certainly can if that feels right for you!). There are ways to engage with social media in a mindful way that don't leave you feeling anxious or down on yourself. Here are my top tips for using social media in a grounded and intentional way:

1. Before opening the app in the first place, ask yourself, "Why am I doing this? What is my intention behind opening Instagram/Facebook/Tik Tok, etc?" Take a moment to notice what's going on for you. Do you want to connect with friends? Learn something new? Watch a funny video? If that's the case, keep your intention in mind as you scroll. If instead you notice that you feel bored, anxious, or like you need to "zone out" for a minute, ask yourself if there's something else you can do instead that will meet that need. Perhaps a meditation, calling a friend, going outside, or reading a book would be more helpful.

   
   

2. Once you've determined your intention for opening the app, set a timer on your phone for 5 - 10 minutes. When the timer goes off, check in with yourself and notice if you're sticking to your intention. Ask yourself if you want to keep scrolling, or if you've had enough and it's time to move onto something else.

   
   

3. Experiment with social media detox times. Whether that's for certain days of the week or hours of the day, try to set aside time when you can unplug and be fully present and engaged with the world around you.

   
   

4. Curate your feed - Follow accounts that bring joy, education, and connection, and mute or unfollow accounts that don't. Be sure that anyone you're following for advice is a reputable source, such as. a doctor or therapist. It's totally fine to follow influencers you like as well, just keep in mind that their advice is based on their own experience. And for any advice or guidance you see, even if from a professional, remember that you're viewing short clips that are generalized for the public.

Healthy Alternatives to Scrolling When Overwhelmed

If you find yourself turning to social media when you're overwhelmed, you've likely noticed that it doesn't always help you feel better. Here are some alternatives to scrolling that can help you process your emotions:

• Journaling

• Sending a voice note to a friend

• Meditation or breathwork (The Insight Timer app is one of my favorites for guided meditation and breathing exercises. Most of their content is free.)

• Going outside

• Stretching

• Eating a nourishing meal or snack

• Reading a book - using an e-reader is one of my personal favorite alternatives to scrolling, especially when nap-trapped or feeding a baby since it's so easy to hold.

• Coloring

• Make a list of things you're grateful for

• Reach out to a loved one and make plans, whether it's a date with your partner, coffee with a local mom, or a FaceTime session with a faraway friend.

Signs that Social Media Use May Be Harming Your Mental Health

Because social media is so ingrained into our everyday lives, it can be hard to recognize when it takes toll on your mental health. Here are some signs that social media use may be having a negative impact and that you may need extra support:

• Your mood changes after you scroll - you might feel more irritable, anxious, or sad

• You have a hard time falling or staying asleep

• You feel isolated and disconnected from the ones you love

• You develop intrusive thoughts or find yourself worrying that something bad will happen after you read about a tragic experience someone else had

  
  

If you notice any of these signs, it's okay to step back from social media or change the ways in which you engage with it. It's also okay to ask for help, whether that's from a friend, family member, or therapist. If you're in Massachusetts and are interested in working together, click here to learn more about my approach and schedule a complimentary 15-minute intro call. Remember, with mindfulness and care, it's possible to choose connection and self-compassion over comparison.

Disclaimer: The content provided on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading this blog does not establish a therapeutic relationship. If you are in need of mental health support, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional.